Tag Archives: Psychic

Crazy Gypsy Ladies II

21 Jul

As I mentioned before, I have a thing for gypsy ladies. (Not a ‘thing thing’…get your mind out of the gutter)

A very good friend of mine took me along to the mind body spirit festival shortly after my break-up.  I was walking around feeling okay about the world, (even after we had nearly lost each other in the car park – put two directionally challenged girls together and you get catastrophe!) until a wisened reiki practitioner grabbed me out of the crowd.

“Where’s the ring?” she asked (Great, do I have a sign on my forehead?)

” Ahh, it’s gone?” I replied as I swallowed back some tears

“Ahh love, that wasn’t meant for you, does that make you feel better?” (Does taking a shot of arsenic sound good right about now?)

“Don’t worry, the next one is the one” she said all knowingly and sauntered off

After this, I decided to go straight to the top…. I was convinced that obviously the psychic world wanted to talk to me…so I was finished with evil eye ladies and I was going to see Georgina Walker.

If you don’t know who Georgina Walker is then you obviously have absolutely no interest in anything psychically inclined…that and you probably don’t listen to 2day fm. (Not that that is a major atrocity by any stretch of the imagination)

Georgina Walker is an intuitive psychic that took me three months to book in for. The reason I was so keen on seeing her though, was the fact that she doesn’t use cards or any other form of tool to see the future. She basically just holds onto something you own, shuts her eyes and starts talking.

In the lead-up to my meeting with Georgina, I nearly made myself vomit.

What if she says:

  • I am going to be alone forever and own 42 cats?
  • My parents are going to knock down a wall between my bedroom and the room next door as they know i’ll be there for a really long time..?
  • I’m about to contract the Ebola virus?
  • I’ll lose all my money trusting a shonky but sexy property investor?
  • I’m irrefutably emotionally damaged never to love again (and believe me this one…I could  actually believe)

Anyhow, I used the GPS to drive all the way to Mona Vale. This is the equivalent of a normal person using only their sense of smell to navigate their way through the depths of the African Jungle, so you could say I was very proud of myself.

Standing outside the door, I prepared myself for the worst. I stood there, sweating with anxiety, praying to God that she had something good for me so I wouldn’t stop off on the way home at Ikea, and pick up cat litter trays on sale for $2.95 in preparation for my 42 new furry friends.

“Miss Procrastination” I heard from nowhere

oh wow, she was good….

Well actually she had just seen me waiting out the front from her balcony…but I was already impressed. (Yeah, you knew I was a sucker from my evil eye post…come on already)

I sat down, handed over my watch, said nothing, and she started talking at the speed of lightning.

“Foreign, you are going to get a foreign opportunity…don’t think you won’t get it..back yourself…you will” (Awesome!! 42 cats replaced with jet set lifestyle…hello!)

“You are going to Boston…yes you are in Boston, you may want to have a relationship with someone here, but you need to understand that he will always put his work first. If you decide to go there, you will need to entertain yourself” (No biggie here, I had to be my ex’s portable entertainment system for two years…I’m more than happy to only have to do it for myself for a change)

“You are going to be a WAG” (Hey Victoria Beckham…eat your heart out!!) at Epping Rugby Club…(BORING…Where is David Beckham in Epping? Where the hell is Epping anyway?)

“Your primary gift, is that you are inspirational” (Me 3, Assclown 0) You will be a mentor, and take on roles beyond your years, people will look up to you” ( I loved this so much, given one of the primary reasons I got kicked to the kerb was that I wasn’t inspirational…universe seems to think differently I see!)

This was all nice, but it didn’t really give me that feeling of…well…anything.

I handed over a photo of my ex, not talking about the relationship, just giving his first name and age.

“Unpredictable, oh dear so unpredictable, I can see one arm behind his back”

Hmm….maybe she was on the money…

“This guy is about to shock and disbelieve a lot of people, around something in September”

Okay, now she really was on the money…

“He is being taken off course, off track, I see tears…he knows what he is getting into though, he knows…he is being influenced by a pack of men, lots of male influence (does this go back to my father’s ‘likes to take it the other way’ theory?)

“I don’t know how you are involved, but however you are involved…you aren’t anymore”

No shit.

I sat there, and took it all in for a minute.  Georgina finally asked me “how do you know this man?”

I responded..”We were engaged”

She actually laughed. LAUGHED

“Oh no, bad match, bad match…he would have left you after a year or so anyway, even if you had gone down the aisle”

NICE

“There is someone else waiting for you” she said

Okay now this is where we get to the real deal, this is the stuff I wanted to hear. (please don’t say a cat named sylvester…please please please)

“oooh, he is so nice, so lovely, you are going to meet him in fourteen months”

Fourteen months!!!? Why so bloody long…..whhhhhhy?? (supposedly I need to find balance, rest and recovery)

“You won’t be alone for fourteen months – oh no, there will be men…” (Great, I am about to become a whore)

” But this one…he is like superman(does this mean he likes to wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers?)…everyone will be asking you..where did you find him?

“He is a banker (notice my winced expression after paying out afore-mentioned investment bankers) he has long arms (gumby?) and is incredibly well-travelled…(ghandi?) four or five years older than you, a real planner, an ex professional rower (god not the guy from the golden valley ad?) and supposedly six months after we have met he has decided I am it for him.

This is all going to happen by the time I am 32 supposedly.

I drove home feeling a lot better. And, I really hope she is right about superman, because to be honest I know I am supposed to be all enlightened by this ‘whole new world of single’ but I am starting to get a bit lonely, and I would like him to come and rescue me  real soon.

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